Adam was allowed to know a woman, since one was not created, for years and year as he named the animals. Moses even wrote that adam looked for someone to be a companion with, but there was no one who fit. Adam knew the longing and desire for a wife, a lover, a helpmeet. Adam would have longed and had the longing met. Adam would have respected above all else eve, he would have loved to no end, looked for everything to please and love her. That is something we lose as a society. Porn, players, and sleezy guys all are emotional distortions of something that was so beautiful and it has all gone ere now.

There comes a point where we find that we do not want to know what is right. We know, but we hide out conscience. I find that I have been hiding myself in the business of my life. I hide myself in good things, I hide myself in my abilities, my thoughts, my actions. I show myself off to be a good person, I show myself to be a hero to some. In all reality I am a good person to some people, but in the end, we all eventually are reminded of the skeletons in our closest.

We make ourselves busy, we find ourselves in other people’s business, we gossip, we work, we play, all this just to hide our darkness. The beautiful thing about the light is that it gets rid of the darkness, but we have to be willing to find what is hidden right now. Eventually we lose the choice to willing find what is in our darkness and we find them unprepared to deal with it.

The quietness is painful, since we all find what we want hidden.

“ In repentance and rest is your salvation,
In quietness and trust is your strength,
But you would have none of it.”

Isaiah 30:15

it is much easier to face something when it is not your choice. like being pushed instead of jumping, like shooting yourself instead of being shot.

This makes the reasoning of why things happen in life make so much more sense. i doubt we would ever face any of the problems in our life unless we were compelled to by circumstances.

Have you ever noticed that our greatest strengths seem to open up our essence to our greatest weakness?

Look at your weaknesses, all of them stem from your strengths.

i prayer a prayer in may. the answer has been a constant one. the interesting thing is that the consequences of the prayer are my own. i prayed to be broken and the breaking has yet to happen, but so much has happened and so much more will happen. It's interesting when you realize that prayers are answered. it's a reaction of both fear and love. fear, since however bizzare, my prayers have been answered this summer in ways that are always painful. love, since they are answered.

There a glory and a reason for pursuing the unwanted pursuit.

6I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! 9As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!

10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Gal 1:6-9

Isaiah 57

1 The righteous perish,
and no one ponders it in his heart;
devout men are taken away,
and no one understands
that the righteous are taken away
to be spared from evil.

2 Those who walk uprightly
enter into peace;
they find rest as they lie in death.

There is no other gospel. There is no other good news. Not outselves, not our cultures, not our marvelous buildings. These can all be good God given things that we are to enjoy, but they are nothing in comparison the the Gospel of christ. We know that there is no other good news in the world, we are told we will suffer, and we are also told that we will have peace in it's fullness later. Yet all the more we try to sell ourselves as something good and worthy.

Peace is a wonderful thing to enjoy, but it isn't an end in and of itself. God created everything and it was called good by God, the one who we use to define good, it is good, rather it is all distorted by sin. we are distorted by sin. An interesting thought is this: sin is just a distortion of what is good. C.S. Lewis said is like this " to be truely unique, you must conform to the one which good flows. sin never created anything new, rather it only distorts what was already there." It is a strange thought to realize that every attempt to run from christ, or whatever reason, it's all just distortions of something already there. by striving to be unique you become fully conformed.

and life moves on.