if my heart, my soul to be exact, was physical
i know i would rip it in two
through my actions, my sin, but nothing intentional
i continue to drown and beg for life to not be mine to choose

i am drowning now
i wake in the morn' to see my sin unsubdued
i want to fall down, but i am too proud
too proud, too broken, and sin fills my veins

born with tainted blood
and hate that fills my whole
i am hopeless and have no control
i scream to God for my a cleansing flood
and pray for my plea to be granted

the cleansing flood had come and was offered
to all the souls that saw their blood tainted
he offered to take our sinful blood on His head
so we may be sainted

This merciful savior suffered our blood
and in turn gave His perfect life
He showed us perfect love
and then said, " it is done"
and so it is.

Spiritual longing creates a desire and we end up wanting to find fulfillment some place it isn’t. it makes sense really. If there is a tempter, Satan, then if we have a desire that can be distorted to an end that takes us away from God, then it will happen. Your out look on life changes when you think someone is actively trying to harm you with the end goal of drawing you away from God. With all these things in mind, what changes for you?

come to me please and tell me your worst
there is nothing, you cannot loose me
see, i too am cursed
i didn't save my self, but one answered my plea

the one never set expectations
he embraced peoples plea
and still does after the failures of generations
how could i reject you after he accepted me?

when he accepted me, i changed my purpose
no longer to serve myself or happiness pursue
but to show forgiveness and love,
since he has seen and forgive my worst.

half way done.

we are all so half hearted. go screw your self and get over your insecurities and start doing what you say you are. the gospel is radical. so, why are we not?

As you wake up, as you lay down, what makes today different and what how are you any different now that you have finished your day and you lay down to rest for the next? When i wake up, why do i wake up? more importantly, why do you wake up? what purpose makes you wake up and not hit the snooze button? no really, this is not just me rambling, there is a reason to ask this. When you lay down at night, as yourself, and be sincere in your answer, how am i different, what have i done today that has any real worth?

the answers are all seemingly depressing, but i have realized that it is through all the depressing answers that hope is found. it is only because they are depressing that they lead to something else.

if god is sovereign, which he is, then that means i have a purpose. if i have a purpose, then as long as i live, i have meaning. death, is not such a terrible thing then. on top of the promises of heaven, it also is the fullfillment of my life. a sign, that when i die, my purpose here is done.