There is a plea in my heart
it is screamed out in song
from every part
asking and crying, " how long"

how long, 'til i see your plan?
'til from this body i'm released
and before your throne i stand
to hear my father say,
" with you i am pleased"

There are days that i really struggle with depression. this is one of them. There is such an intense longing to know God better and just be with Him so i can see His throne, bask in his glory, praise Him, and know him. There is very little that seems worth anything when you are in a bought of depression, but the fascinating thing about Jesus is he constantly reminds me of how real life is, even in the midst of a depression. He reminds me of His grace, even in the darkest moments in my head, there is so much light i can still see. I have never had this type of hope in depression before.

Jesus grounds me in reality in my disconnects from reality in depression. Which is so amazing, since depression distorts everything you see to a point where everything has no weight and it is all completely meaningless. That doesn't happen anymore in my mind. God's grace and his love are so over powering. every scene and failure of this world really means nothing in comparison to the eternal weight of who God is and what His grace is.

I do long, i yearn to see my father.