And now to write and ramble some more. 

I was talking with my manager at work and he was asking me what motivated me to do well at work.  I thought about it for a minute, basically it came down to i have no other safety net and if i want to be comfortable I have to work hard.  A little afterwards I realized there a lot of people who we just expect not to do well, since, well, they are bob or Joe. Just they are who they are and this is the type of job they do and now lets move on. 

I realize this isn't just a mindset that is at my job.  Where you'll hear it more is in phrases like, " boys will be boys" or " that's just how it is".  Basically, I'm realizing that there is a cultural norm to excuse wrong doing, laziness, violence, sin, because we just assume that's who they are at their core.  Where you'll see this a lot is either in parents or authorities brushing off sexual abuse or a girl excusing an abusive boyfriend.  The more I thought about this the more I realized brushing off sin in anyway is denying the gospel and denying the ability to hope. 

As far as with boys being boys, especially in the area of sexual abuse or other forms of sexual sin, excusing sin removes the hope of change.  Boys will be boys makes the situation such that the boys are unable to change, they're unable to be anything different, they are forever these abusive beings, so, get used to it.  boys are boys, expect to be hurt. 

The other sad thing i'm realizing is excusing and having no accountability for sin emasculates your boys.  They are not actually autonomous beings anymore, they're slaves to their own desires and sin.  They are never taught to actually fight, rather passively give in to their own desires by our passive acceptance of their sin. 

Now we have made them passive to themselves and now through our acceptance and our writing off that it is their nature to since we have denied them the hope and redemption of the gospel.  The gospel has the power to change, but if we never admit sin there is no need for change. If we never bring darkness into the light no one can ever see their need to be changed. 

Given, a guy being lazy at work and being excusing it since he is always lazy is not at all the same as abuse, but I was just noting that with anyone, if we write off their sin or even just their struggle as being part of them and never dive into bringing into the open we never give them hope of being anything more.  If we say, oh, it's just bob being bob, when something damaging happens we have already defined them by their struggle and trapped them in their struggle.

Life of a Car Sales man

I think it is time for me to start writing again.  Adjustment would be a way for me to describe the past year.  I am now sell cars. Used cars ( I don't wear cheap suits and gator skin shoes...) ( Actually I wear cheap pants and sneakers).  This is a " i'm going to start writing again, since it's probably healthy for me and i enjoy it" post. 

How the hell did i get here? BTW, where the hell am I?
 I think these are questions we need to ask frequently.  Well, i never really had a choice about asking these questions, since i am easily confused.  A year ago I was shuffling living situations, had a breaking car, waited tables at a fledgling restaurant, and was rather unsure of where I was going.  So, I am not in the same place anymore, I'm rather sure of where I am at ( My living room on my couch) and I actually have a direction my life is moving. 

One of the constant questions I ask myself is " where is tomorrow going to come from."  Mostly this concerns financial things, since reality is, however sad it is, money is what we function on daily.  There is this struggle between knowing what is immediate and what is the long term reality.  Reality is we don't really know where tomorrow is going to come from.  The struggle I find, with being a commission sales associate, is all the things we own are simply a loan on this earth.  As quickly as i've been able to move from earning barely enough to eat to having excess is somewhat overwhelming because it came out of nowhere. 

I was going to write more, but i just lost interest in writing. So, i'm going to write more at a later time.