11 “Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,
your foundations with lapis lazuli." Isaiah 54:11

over and over god promises to rebuilt, redeem, to move and create us again. Not just to bring us back to the way things were, but rather to rebuild and create us into something spectacular, unimaginable that sounds rather absurd. talking abuot building a cities foundation out of stones and rocks that are considered to be absurd to even have enough to build a wall out of, let alone a whole city. In the end, when you think of who you are now, of where jesus has taken you, what he has called you out of, i never could have imaged what life would be like now. My desires were so weak, so low, i never dreamed to be who i am now. My desires were for money, fame, and pleasure. all of that was taken out of my grasp, but what happened was it was shown that all those things, int he course of eternity fail and even in the scope of our existence we see that they fail us. i wasn't able to imagine what i have now. In the end, do we really know what we want, or even what we need? all the things i wanted weren't really what i wanted, rather were things i wanted to temporarily fill what me, since i didn't have what i really needed.

Love is a strange thing, since often times it means giving people exactly what they do not want. Knowing what someone needs and giving it to them is usually a pretty rough thing, but giving them what they need above their wants is probably one of the most loving things you can do for a person. I did not want jesus, but he forced himself on me for years until i broke. that is what i needed though.