a few things:

i have a reccomendation for a job. so, pray that works out.

i have almost hit my weight goal and weight lifting goal. i benched 205 and am shooting for 240 in the next year and i know weigh 175.

also, this seems to be one of the healthiest and cheap things to make:
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0ISW/is_259-260/ai_n10299306/pg_2/?tag=content;col1

Well, i had to suck up my pride tonight and ask for food and gas money.

tonight raise your glass
and scream till you breath no more
since everything around us is about to pass
so give what you have
since when you're dead it doesn't matter if you're poor.

Acts 4:
32 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. 33 With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all 34 that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales 35 and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.

There is something about being able to give up what you have for an illogical purpose when you stare at numbers blankly. when i am jobless, i am greedy. when i have little i want more and say i will give more when i have more, but for now, i can't give since i don't have enough. i had 60 dollars to my name and that was enough to carry me through until i got another job. this verse has been on my mind since i lost my job and wasn't giving like i used to. well, um, a friend needed 60 dollars to finish his fund raising for going to hati to work with people trying to leave voodoo practicing. i just gave away my last 60 dollars.

this is more of a prayer than a post. God, i know you have a plan, i know you work in all things. please open up a job soon. i haven't been giving like you have asked of me, but father, i want to change that. please give me the ability to give and the ability to earn money and things to give.

there are some days you know God's spirit is near. there are some people you know he follows by how when you're near them you become calm.

the second day one of quitting smoking.

day one of no cigarettes. jittery as heeelll. it is going to be a long fight.

1 kings 10:1

"1 When the queen of Sheba heard about the fame of Solomon and his relationship to the LORD, she came to test Solomon with hard questions."

what struck me is that solomon was famous because everyone, even a queen of another country knew how intimate solomon was with God. This is a bizarre thing for an unrelational culture and a culture that separates relationship from christianity. it wasn't that solomon was known for acting like a religious man, hell, everyone was religious and everyone had gods that worship religiously. It was solomon's relationship with God that drew the queen to him to meet him. How solomon interacted and knew God made her come and meet him. The relationship, not his acts, defined a large part of his reputation.

In the end, i think we think of people outside of this manner. meaning we think of someone and think about their christian like actions, their christian like language, not really how close they are to jesus, not how much of them abides in christ. It wasn't about solomon, rather it was about his and God's relationship. Solomon did not really define his actions, rather a relationship with another defined solomon