Today I went and picked up an application to be a regular volunteerer dude at a soup kitchen, tutoring, mantience, odd job man. I take all the back roads to RIFA ( Regional Inner Faith Association ) I’m driving through the ghetto and the usual run down houses, it was about 3, so, school had just gotten out, masses of kids were walking home, there were a few fights, some rather brutal with people watching in the circle, it’s a depressing thing to watch. I leave my application, and then drive back the same way; some of the fights were still going on, you could tell which kids had fought by the blood on some of their faces and shirts. I drive to the north part of down and sit down in joe mugs with my C.S. Lewis and a cup of coffee. I look around and notice three guys in line, all wearing designer jeans, gold watches, and leather coats. Two business men debating which golf resort to go to, three other men talking about what color to paint their offices, a couple of kids with the local prep school uniform, and I notice that everyone of us have one thing in common: we are all completely self absorbed and we all think we are gracing the earth with our presence.

The gospel is rather radical about taking care of the poor. I do not fulfill the call of the gospel by any means; I am guilty of this as well. Holiness is not judged by what we do not do. What makes us radical as Christians? Grace and sacrificial love. Through grace, we are holy, but it is not just something we receive, it is something that we also give. The giving of grace and love without gain is absurd by any way of life other than Christianity, but without it, there is not Christianity. Christ’s sacrifice, when you look at it, it is absurd. He saved the miserable lot that killed Him. Me of all people, I hated Him.

That last thought while I was in Joe Mugs was this: God makes us lovable. A dog hates training, we are none too different. By making us more like Him through redemption, we are more capable for receiving love. God cannot love our sin, rather he loves our person because that can be changed, which ultimately, since we are created in his image, is like Himself. The easiest thing I have found to love is, sadly enough, myself. I find it is easiest to love and accept people who are like myself. There is a huge problem here. I am shown love by a God greater than myself, who reached down to something very different than He is and I am so hesitant to imitate that.

It seems that the most desieving part of emotion is the belief that it will last forever. depression only turns into despair when you start to think that this emotion will never end.

From crib to coffin
my blood was tainted
i hoped myself to save
and from my works be sainted

While in my coffin lie
i wonder at what price
We hope for rest when we die
but did my works suffice

Carried on the shoulders
of the enslaved
who hope for sainthood yet
I am lowered to the grave

i pray for a cleansing flood
to make them not like me

John 21:15-17

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "You know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."

"There are those who hate Christianity and call their hatred an all-embracing love for all religions."- G.K.Chesterton

We are always planning. it is out nature to plan ahead and hope. The denial of sin nature means everything we plan will fail. If there is no sin nature, that means people should improve with their environment. the denial of sin nature also means the denial of a theological problem and we try to deal with a theological problem with different means.

I have started to get to know a couple of homeless people. one in particular, just through his intense giving attitude, has made me realize how rediculasly materialistic we all are. i was cold, he knows i have money to clothe myself, i didn't have gloves on, he offered to give me his only gloves straight off his hands. I have two pairs of gloves and there is someone else who needs a pair of gloves. i have a dozen different pairs of clothes, a laptop to type this up on, mp3 player, cell phone, how much soccer equipment, two guitars, how many books, shoes, socks, covers, sleeping bags, the list goes on.

Matthew 19:20 "Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me."

How much do i give to the poor? very little. the gospel is radical, yet we're so tame.