i started to write. i think i may write a story. this is the intro i've written.

There came a time when i wondered if there was any hope, if there was any real light that stays longer than the sun. I still wonder if there is anything more than the light that fades in and out. The light seems like more of a tease than actual hope. As soon as the day becomes warm, as soon as there is any hope that grips your soul, it fades away, and we are cursed to face the dark and cold again. This is the sad state of reality and the sad world i was born into. We wake to live for a moment of light and warmth, then exist in the darkness waiting for a moment again. Most people resolve to live in the light and exist in the darkness, just flirting with both, but never truly living in either. The trouble is they are torn every time they exist in one and then transition into dark from light or light to dark. the struggle between light and dark, between loving oneself and loving others is what forms us all.

This struggle is what i want to tell you about and what it did to me. This struggle made me rise and fall and ultimately exist inside the tension and in the end die to try and end it. The easiest place to begin is the end, but only for a minute, i will send you to the beginning after a few details are explained. I am not in the world of light and dark anymore and i do not have to fight any longer. also this is not a story of how i left the fight and found out how to find peace, rather this is a story of how i existed in the turmoil. Now, to go to the beginning: i was born. no seriously. i was. that is how most beginnings begin.