i think i found myself.

i think i lost myself.

i think they are the same.

i work full time now, i am a full time student, i volunteer and mentor every week now. i am resting, i finally found rest. real, rest. not just power naps and long nights sleep. amidst supporting my little sister, taking care of a brother, getting him to detox, paying bills, studying, volunteering. I find rest in everything. i still love a good nights sleep, though.

We often times talk about how, " i have to pursue god first!!!!!!!!! then everything else." i would say that is close, but a dangerous falsehood. i wondered what that meant, but for some reason our very vocabulary has a separation of jesus and everything else. pursuing jesus first does not mean having constant biblestudies. i think i started to change when i realized, you pursue christ IN everything. you pursue christ in everything you do. through christ you can pursue anything. if you aren't pursuing christ in everything, tell me where your line is where you aren't pursing christ, but are pursuing something else for a moment, then will pursue christ when you're done. it doesn't work.

the question i have is where is jesus in your classes, work, social life? How are you pursuing christ in your day to day interactions? how you spend your money? how you spend your time? how you talk? even what you eat... everything is turned over and thrown out the window.

what has jesus thrown out the window for you lately?