so, realizing that an act of service is not love, but an expression of it makes the gospel so much brighter. realizing that christ didn't just do enough to meet the demands of the law, but gives us everything possible, he gives us kingship. that is beauty. it changes how i see people and how i should treat them. it makes me love for the first time in my life. Love doesn't just do, it is the absolute and complete exhaustion of everything towards a person. it also means being vulnerable to them. I realized something, jesus was vulnurable every time he spoke. how? realize he was and is something that seems pretty impossible. God in man. Everytime someone asked who he was and he answered them, he risked complete and utter rejection, since it does take faith to believe something as absolutely insane as a statement like, " i am the son of god."

I don't know who all reads this, but i do know that for the first time i know people. weather i have known you for months or years, in honesty i don't think you all have known me until recently. the reason isn't because of you, but because i have never allowed people to know me. i have learned to never be vulnerable, to never feel, to never be in a position to get hurt. i think this goes back to me not fully trusting and feeling jesus's love and payment. i mean, if you don't have absolute and complete trust in Jesus's blood covering your sin, you are going to try to pay for it yourself in someway or another. that describes my life pretty well up to now. Now is the time where you can get to know me, since jesus has softened me enough to where you can know me.

you have never met me before. you knew a facade i put up. you never knew who god made me. you can know me now though. i am actually real now. as stupid as that sounds, it is very true.